I've been trying to decide how I feel about having no hair. I've always had LOTS of hair, got it from my dad... the only man I've ever known who had to blow-dry his hair just to try to keep it all under control. I hadn't cut it in a long time in an effort to grow it out. It was getting long and I was really lovin' it, even though it always ended up tied back before the end of the day. As soon as I knew it wold be falling out, I went and cut about 5 inches off... maybe it was easier to see it go in phases.
I've realized that I am going to think about it as another one of those things that I don't get to have control over. So, I don't think I even get to decide whether I like it or not. It is what it is. My hair is gone and I'm experiencing something that I never would have decided to do on my own. I do laugh when I look in the mirror sometimes, especially when I catch a glimpse and I've forgotten that I'm bald. I laugh when I shampoo my head in the morning and wrap a towel around it just because that's the only way I know to end a shower. I laugh when I turn off the fans and think the house is freezing, only to have Michael remind me to put my hat back on.
Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not running around laughing all of the time. I still haven't gone to Target or the grocery store. No trips to any restaurants. I haven't really ventured too far from home. I used to be able to run around as if nothing was going on. Now, I look like I have cancer.
I'm gearing up for my second treatment at the end of the week. I cannot feel my tumor at all and I know that even the malignant cells that remain will be destroyed in the next month. When I look in the mirror and feel sorry for myself, I thank God that a medicine exists that can get rid of this cancer. My hair will come back but my cancer won't - I guess it's a pretty small price to pay.
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12 comments:
You look amazing! Your eyes are so beautiul and blue. I didn't notice them before but now its the first thing you notice. You're right, you don't have control over the hair situation. But what you can control is your attitude and your faith in God. Give it to God! He will guide you through this and give you the strength you need if you ask him to.
Don't be afraid to venture out of the house. You might be surprised how many people have been affected by this and who are going through it now as well.
Keep your spirits up! Go Jennifer fight, fight, fight!!! Lots of love, Chris
You go Girl! and you look beautiful. You are an amazing testimony to alot of others around you, with and without cancer. Stay strong. Love, Team Tinley
BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!
I am not just saying that friend, you look so pretty! Those eyes - could they be more blue? Remember the family photo that hung in your mom and dad's house and Kim would make fun of you in it- I was worried! :) Not really!! I knew you would be beautiful. I am so proud of you!! Love, Nikki
I think you look fantastic!
Jennifer - As an exclusive member of the Bald is Beautiful club, trust me when I say you look terrific! And you're absolutely right... let it go. You have no control over the hair. Take charge of what you can and that is your outlook and your attitude. Fight this with every ounce of mind, soul, and spirit you can muster. You CAN do this! If I can do it, I KNOW you can do it!
This is part of your life song. God's grace and peace are amazing!
Blessings, Mike
Jennifer, You have always been and will always be beautiful!!! Not because of your hair or any other outer features, but because you are a "great" friend, "LOVING" mother, and from reading Michaels blogs, I believe you are a "soul mate" to Michael. All of those inner qualities are what make you beautiful! Things don't always turn out exactly how we plan, but they all happen for a reason. It will come to you someday, why God had you travel down this path. But until then, tie on a scarf,take yourself to the Grocery store and walk proud through the bakery. You never know who you will be an inspiration to. Love you very much! Nancy
Jennifer, you are so beautiful!
I'm so envious of your strength.
You are an inspiration to me!
We miss you!
Tiffany
Wow! I knew if anyone could pull of being so beautiful bald, it would surely be you! You are a knockout! Thank you for sharing that picture! You are so strong and such an inspiration! When I am having a yucky day, I just think of you and what you are going through and how strong you are and try to be more like you! I have a far way to go, but you are in my thoughts and prayers daily!
P.S. Ron Walker asked if you had saved some hair for him? lol! Even though you been gone so long, your still the office's sweet Jenny! Love~Becca
You are beautiful- and my inspiration!
Jennifer-You look beautiful! I just found out about your blog last night. I am so glad to be able to see how you are doing. You have been in our family's prayers. You are such a sweet friend and I miss teaching with you. I'm home during the day if you need anything...I'm just down the street. Please don't hesitate to call.
Love you!
Julie Dennis
Your are beautiful.....inside and out! Love, Peggy
You look so beautiful and you honestly do not need to wear a wig or be afraid of going out in public. You look like a "hip" mom. :) Praying for you during this next treatment! Love, Travis & Kelly Clark
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