Little Things...Michael

To hold true to form, I'm going to write about certain life lessons and NOT keep it light. Remember, I'm a former coach who's sole purpose was to try to influence young boys to grow up to be young men and then left that to become a management consultant.  I am pragmatic to a fault.  

As I sit and watch the maps turn red and blue tonight I started to think about how big this day was in all of our lives.  I then thought about something that a very close friend of mine and one of the very best coaches I ever knew used to stress, if we work hard to take care of the little things then the big things will take care of themselves.  He used this as a coaching tool to teach baseball but it is so true in our lives right now.  Two years ago I decided to leave coaching and go to work in the family business.  It was completely heart breaking and at the same time so exciting.  I couldn't imagine leaving my players, but I couldn't imagine not taking the chance to work with my dad.  So I took a leap of faith and it was the greatest thing I've ever done.  Let me tell you why.  Until 3 weeks ago I got to take Ryan to daycare and pick him up everyday.  How many dads can do that?  I can go to just about every event that Zach is involved, which included coaching flag football this year.  By the way, that was a entire new level of challenge!  So, not only did I get to have a fantastic job where I can learn, teach, and experience things I never knew, but I also got to be the dad that coaching high school football sometimes doesn't allow due to time constraints.  These may seem like little things, but they mean so much to me.  Life was good.  

Then the news came along and I realized why I am in this position in life.  With all of the amazing things that my job affords the single most important reason that I have such flexibility is to take care of Jennifer.  It's one of the little things that I can take care of that leads to the big thing taking care of itself...her complete recovery.  We have been to countless appt's already.  She is going to have to take chemo 3 times and then radiation 20 times and I get to be there with her every time.  I can work from home and still take care of her.  What a great gift I was given to be able to do this for my wife.  Sometimes we take a leap of faith but we have no idea why.  I took the leap to work with my dad and my surrogate RAD uncle, Ron, which has been, is, and will continue to be a tremendous blessing.  However, in the end the greatest gift that I will receive from this is the ability to walk side-by-side with my wife on the toughest journey of her life and come out the other side stronger than ever.  How many people can do this?  How many people out there miss the Dr. app't because they have a meeting, or game, or some pressing issue?  I don't know how many of you believe that God puts us in positions for a reason, but I do and I am so grateful for where I am in my life.  

Last thought, no man has ever sat on his death bed and said he wished that he spent more time at work.  Our jobs are important for so many reasons, but nothing is more important that Faith and Family.  

I'm struggling tonight

One day at home and I'm already second-guessing the decision not to go back to school until semester.  I think it's because I feel okay... I feel like I could be doing a lot more than hanging out here.  I know the days will come when I don't feel okay and then I will understand why I made this decision. After talking with my doc on Friday, I knew this was the smart thing to do. I just need to keep reminding myself of the risks that he talked about that go along with being around such a large group of people everyday.  But, today, I miss my students.  I miss being at school with Zach.  Maybe I just miss things being the way they were 3 weeks ago.  

I am so lucky to have such great friends that I've called on tonight to make me feel better.   They have reminded me that it's okay to take care of myself.  My class will be okay, my students will still learn & grow, and things can actually still function even if I'm not there to run the show. Who knew?  

I'll end this post with some stories of my boys.  Zach is a trooper and volunteered to help fold laundry tonight - first time ever!  He also asked me if we could make our own "secret" handshake complete with a hug at the end.  He's such a sweet boy.  And Ryan... this morning he pulled on my hair and asked if that was mommy's hair that can come off - good for a giggle as always.

Prednisone is not my friend.

Everybody who knows me has heard me talk about how much I hate my prednisone, even the tiny amount that I take every day.  I'm taking about 10 times my normal dose for a few days (part of the chemo) and it has reminded of just how much I don't like it.  Two big reasons why prednisone sucks...  

1.  I'm jumpy and irritable (like I've had way to much caffeine and PMS at the same time)  ha

2. I'm awake at 3 a.m. writing this!

Other than that, I'm doing okay.  One of the weirdest side effects is that I have a really dry mouth, but I have mouth rinses that I'm using and I drink a ton of water so I guess that's a good thing for my system.  I'm a little achy, just kind of like I have the flu.  Nothing else yet!  My family is taking such wonderful care of me... after my mood yesterday I know that Michael has the patience of a saint.  Love that man!!!