New Year, new beginnings

Let me start this by saying that I've never been that eternal optimist that finds the silver lining in everything.  I've grumbled and moaned as much as anybody.  Sure, I am a true believer in the power of positive thinking but I'm also a guy that can feel sorry for myself if I don't watch it.  I think that those that are eternal optimists are really people that are just self aware of those creeping doubts and they have a great coping mechanism for keeping those feelings at bay.  At the closing of every year we all hope for great things for the new year, as we should, but it can come off as sour grapes for the year past.  This is especially true when the out-going year was full of disappointments or just utter disaster.  2008 brought economic turmoil, international conflict, political struggle, and for some personal battles.  It is easy to say, "God please make 2008 go away and bring me a new year with a new beginning".  Let's instead take inventory of our blessings from 2008.  I'll go first...

Thank God that Jennifer had the Stage I Lymphoma when at one point they thought it was Sarcoma.  We went from a surgery that was going to remove a portion of her thigh, at least a year's worth of physical therapy to get the leg functional, and still a scary prognosis to 3 chemo treatments, 20 radiation treatments, and then CURED!  That my friend is a blessing.  I have two beautiful, healthy, trouble making boys and at one time Jennifer and I didn't think that we would ever be able to have kids.  I remember one day a few years ago when we were just starting off in our marriage.  I was one of the baseball coaches in Hobbs, NM.  The local little league was hosting the state tournament so the other baseball coaches and I went up to some games to make an appearance.  There was a former player at the college that I played at who was a few years older than me but had stayed in town and was now raising his family there.  His youngest son was there at the game and he couldn't have been any older than 6 and he was a mess, but in that great little boy way.  I remember watching him eat a handful of dirt and I thought, that's what I want a little dirt eating boy.  Well, I have two of them now.  Oh, and Dana that little boy was yours by the way and I'm sure you're not a bit surprised.

I have so many more blessing in my life but it's time for our Mario Cart tournament to begin.  That's where my life is now.  I'm having Mario Cart tournaments on New Year's Eve with Jennifer and the boys and I wouldn't want it any other way.  May God continue to bless each of you in 2009.

Radiation Begins... Sort of

I had my first appointment with the radiation oncologist today to begin "marking" me for radiation. I had no idea what to expect, and they did kind of surprise me. I left the appointment with three new tattoos... a new experience at a doctor's appointment.

The process today was to measure, mark & scan the area where my tumor was so they can focus the radiation on a very specific place every time it is administered. As soon as they called us back to the exam room, they told me that I'd be having a ct scan today (didn't know that). They will use this scan as well as my PET scan from October to determine the radiation area. They spent about 15 minutes positioning me for the CT and even created a mold under my legs that I will lay on for every appointment after this. It's that important that I am in exactly the same position every time. The tattoos on my hips line up with marks on the mold... not real sure why they had to put a tattoo on my abdomen. We'll have to see what they do with that one! I'll go back on Jan. 7 for final markings and then I should have my first actual treatment shortly after that.

On another note, I also noticed today that all of the bald people at the cancer center kind of give each other little smiles as we pass by. It's like being part of a club of sorts, I guess. I'm tempted to stop people and ask what kind of cancer they have, what they are doing, HOW they are doing, and I get the feeling they are wanting to do the same... but we kind of just smile & keep going. It's a different world in there.

Merry Christmas!

We hope that everyone who reads this is having a very Merry Christmas and enjoying time with friends and family.  This year I am really sitting back to take in all of the family time that I'm getting to enjoy.  I feel pretty good and I'm so thankful for that.  Maybe I haven't gotten to eat ALL of the holiday treats that catch my eye, but I'm looking at that as a good thing... maybe a little forced self-control.

I have my first radiation appointment on Monday.  From what I understand, they will spend some time creating their specific plan for radiating the area around my tumor.   After we finish there, we are going to the offices of 99.5 The Wolf to pick up our Christmas Wish gift cards. Thank you Mrs. Hostin for nominating us!  I can't wait to take the boys out for some fun shopping...  it will be a great way to celebrate the beginning of radiation and the end of this cancer!  :)

We also received word today that many of Michael's childhood friends (from years growing up in Artesia, NM) have gotten together and collected money for us.  These are people that he has not seen in so many years, yet they heard of this diagnosis that we were given and stepped into action to help.  We are inspired by the kindness of our friends.  Yet again, please know how thankful we are for each and every one of you!

I must get to bed.  Santa has lots of work to do after I go to sleep!  ;)  

Merry Christmas and Good Night.

The Season of Giving

Just a quick story.  An old high school friend stopped by last night to meet the family.  He is moving back to the states from a brief stint in Australia and looks to be coming to our area.  Anyway, he has been great at keeping in touch.  Through this entire ordeal I could count on him giving me a call at least once a week to check in.  Skype phones are wonderful.  So anyway, he stopped by last night and met the boys and Jennifer but had to get on the road to head back to his base camp at his mom's house in the Austin area.  So when he left he said that he wanted to help out and since he was still in Australia at the point of the fund raiser he gave me a card with some money and explicit orders that it goes directly to a copay.  It was a very humbling experience.  Not only has he been a great friend, half way around the world, but in the middle of moving his young family back to the states and buying a car and finding a new place to live and on and on, he just wanted to help us.  

Now I must say that this has not been easy for us.  We have been given so many blessings and so much generosity has been bestowed upon us and sometimes you just feel overwhelmed by it all.

Having said that.  Jennifer's principal grabbed me while I was picking up Zach the other day and she gave me a head's up that she had submitted Jennifer for a radio contest.  The premise of the contest is for people to write a story about a person that inspires them and others.  This radio station, 99.5 The Wolf, then tells their story on air and gives them a shopping spree at a local mall.  Well, the email was obviously quite heart felt and amazing and Jennifer was chosen.  Just another amazing story and there are so many more.  My sister's school in New Mexico is donating money that they would have spent on Secret Santa to Jennifer's fund.  It says a lot about how much they love my sister, but it also says a lot about the type of people that they are.  Amazing!

So the rest of the story....Last night during prayer time we talked to the boys about generosity and giving and how we need to really keep our eyes open for opportunities to pass on these same gifts to other people.  You could see Zach's wheels spinning and he says, "hold on I'll be right back".  When he comes back into Ryan's room he is holding a $100 bill that he got for his birthday and he tells Jennifer that he wants her to have it.  So as we are explaining to him about how that is his gift and we want him to buy something for himself, then Ryan takes off running out of his room.  He comes back in, holding his "Deuces Lumpy" lime green Lymphoma bracelet and says "I'll wear this for you Mommy."  He hates wearing that bracelet because he doesn't want anything on his wrist but that was his way of doing something for his Mommy.  Obviously, the boys were listening to that lesson. 

So thank you to everyone that has prayed for us, given of your time and money, and helped us teach our boys a great lesson.  It IS better to give than receive.  This season is about giving something of yourself to somebody you love.  God gave us His only Son who gave His life for all of us.  In the midst of buying the newest toys and most cutting edge technologies this Christmas let's all remember that the reason we celebrate is for Jesus and the lessons that He taught us about living a life of giving and goodness.  But enjoy the new toys as well, we all need some fun in our lives.  

Chemo is finished! I never have to go back to this little cubicle again. We were happy to hear that my blood counts had rebounded well again yesterday and I was all set to start my last chemo session with no delays. It went smoothly, just another day of sitting and watching it drip (or be pushed) into my veins. I thought I'd include a picture of me without the hat... it really shows how things have changed since the first chemo. I'm feeling good this morning and I'm excited to celebrate the holidays and get back into somewhat of a normal routine after that!

After we left the hospital yesterday, we went to mom's to celebrate Ryan's birthday with the family. Michael's mom & dad celebrated with us on Thursday night so he's been lucky enough to have a drawn out birthday - he's not quite sure when he actually turned 4! When Michael & I left mom's we went to the gym (too much birthday cake lately) and had a great workout. It felt good - a great way to end that day on a high note.

What next? I'll start radiation in a couple of weeks and then have another PET scan after 20 rounds of that. My oncologist confirmed yesterday that my tumor is completely undetectable by touch, what a good thing! Radiation should take care of everything else that we can't feel or see.

Thanks again for all of your prayers & support - it means so much to the entire family!

December 12 - what a day!

We are winding down at the Allen house on this Sunday night and getting ready for another week. The boys are packed and ready for school tomorrow, Ryan is ready for his birthday on Friday... and I am ready to be finished with chemotherapy!

It's very strange to think about the fact that 4 years ago on December 12 I was (unexpectedly) about to have a baby. Little Ryan, like his brother Zach, decided to join our family about a month before his due date. They are both proof that we are not always in charge of the plans - but the result is more beautiful than anything we could dream up! This year on December 12, Ryan will be having cake with his friends at daycare and I'll be having my last chemo infusion. I know that I'll be thinking of those beautiful boys & the fact that I am so blessed that God gave me the chance to be their mom. There were definitely times in my life that I didn't think that would be a possibility for me - and they are proof that this body can do something right.

People have been asking me lately if this seems to have gone by quickly - and it definitely does. December 12 is two months to the day from the first time I noticed my tumor. I cannot believe all of the things that have taken place in those two months. If I didn't already realize that I'm not in charge of the plan that my life might take, I definitely do now. I'm going to do everything that I need to do to be a healthy person and just keep praying that I'll understand what it is that's waiting for me down the road... I guess that's all that any of us can do!

Survivor - College Station

Please excuse the weak pun above, but a friend of mine got great news today.  I grew up in a tiny little town in New Mexico, called Artesia.  My parents were both teachers and just about everybody in town knew each other.  When I was in 6th grade we got a new Supt. of schools from outside of Artesia. The family moved into town and they had two kids.  The daughter, Traci, was my age and the son, Mike, was about 4 years older than us.  The entire family was just great and I always thought that Mike was about the coolest guy ever.  He and my dad actually did the high school basketball games on the radio and I would sit with them in the booth.  I had not heard from them in over 20 years until I joined Facebook a few months ago.  We got back in touch and I was shocked to hear that Mike had cancer.  It turns out that he actually had the same form of cancer that Jennifer has, but it was Stage IV.  In his words, he had a belly full of it.  He was scheduled to go through 8 rounds of chemo and has had some rough times with side effects and the like.  He is a professor at Texas A & M and apparently has a great support system in his family, students, friends, and fellow faculty members.  Well, he just had a scan and it shows no cancer.  NONE!  He is only 6 rounds in and he shows cancer free.  He will probably do one more round but that is just to insure that they kill the microscopic cells that won't show on normal scans.  I am just so happy for him and this shows you how a strong combination of prayer and great medicine can beat cancer.  Tonight please say an extra prayer for my friend Mike but also be inspired by his story.  This guy just beat stage IV cancer!  I knew 25 years ago that he was pretty cool.